Well now, let us see.

So, things have been so up and down in the last week, I can't even seem to screw my head on straight. No one will really understand everything, but I am going to jot it down for my self-healing process. Tim took me to court to get full custody of Devin and Brandon in September. We had joint custody since the split in August of 2002. So, in September of 2007 (merely months after he married his new wife) he decided to try for full custody. Lies were told and all in all, he lost. I was awarded full custody with parenting time at status quo. He had/has as much parenting time as he does because he lied. But, that's fine, it's probably better to keep the kids going the way they have been for so long. So, since we won the case, my lawyer and I were responsible in making the parenting plan and sending it for their approval. We never heard anything and we won by default as the court held it for 30 days and they did not approve nor object the plan. So, going through it, I realized there were some clerical errors and things weren't EXACTLY the way they should be, but we are adult enough that we can talk through the clerical errors and go on with our merry way, the way we had been. Then I get a call from my lawyer saying 33(?) days after the judgment went in, they decided to object. I agreed to the amended plan as it had fixed the clerical things and put MOST things the way they should be. We submitted again and won by default, again. This was around December? So, I called my lawyer because I never received anything different and they verified that we had won by default again and to use the latest plan I had.

So, Tim started being "too nice" around February. When I realized what he was doing was somehow going to be used against me in the long run, I told him (through text because he refuses to talk to me) that we were going to start following the parenting plan starting March 1st, no ifs, ands or buts about it. So, we did. And there were arguments. The plan stated that the first weekend in the month was mine. Attached to that was the Thursday preceeding that. He didn't like this because he had them every Thursday night and 3 weekends a night (all part of the lies). I held to my word and things were fine. Come the end of April, I realize we are supposed to have them the 2nd and 3rd but then looked at the calendar and found Mother's Day was the following weekend. I texted him and told him, "Since the parenting plan says I have them ALL of Mother's Day weekend, I will trade you weekends." Therefore he can have them the 2nd and 3rd, I would have them Mother's Day weekend. He gave me no response. The next day, I received yet another parenting plan in the mail, signed by the judge (which meant it was official).

Now, rewind back to about February...I got a call from my lawyer saying they recieved yet another amended plan from his attorney, but they had already withdrawn as my attorney (as they were supposed to) and they would just forward it on my direction so I could look at it. I got it a few days later and about laughed myself out of my chair. I didn't think anything of it and got a call from his attorney about a week later asking if I was going to sign it so they could submit it and get it approved. I told her, "Absolutely not. I don't agree with it." She says, "So you don't agree?" "No, I don't." "Okay, thank you." and she hung up. I never thought twice about it.

A couple weeks later (this now falls to last week) I get the new plan signed by the judge. I start looking at it and they had the Holidays listed and who was to have them, only it was only listing Thanksgiving and Christmas. No problem, those were the holidays that were messed up in the last plan, they are probably just fixing them. Nick gets home and comments on the only 2 holidays, I told him what I thought and he agreed with me that that is probably all it was. The next day, I was having a bad day and my mother in law decided to sit down next to me and wanted to "talk". I told her things and at the end said, "And now I'm dealing with more of Tim's crap." She asked what they did this time and I started explaining as I was reading the plan out loud. And I found it.

In the Thanksgiving area it states: THANKSGIVING "The nonresidential parent shall have the children commencing when school lets out for the holiday weekend and ending on Sunday at 7:00pm in even numbered years. All other holidays and birthdays should follow the regular schedule for parenting time."

Now, tell me how that works? How they can sneak the "all other holidays and birthdays" under Thanksgiving.

This is at what point I lost all control of myself. He took everything away from me. Everything. Every holiday and birthday except the ones that happen to land on the first weekend of every month or on a Monday-1/2 of Thursday. No more Memorial Day/Boatnik with them, no more Easters with them, no birthdays for the next 4 or so years. This is ridiculous...what's even better? He took Mother's Day!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD WOULD MAKE HIM THINK HE COULD TAKE MOTHER'S DAY?!?!?! When did he give birth to them?!?!?!?!

*sigh*

This makes me very sad. I have sunk in a hole, lower than I have been in many years. I thought I had climbed out of my depression, my whole life has changed since Nick and I have been together but this....this is out of my control. This isn't fair. To me OR the kids.

I called my lawyer to see if he would represent me again. I want to take this back to court and I want blood this time. My lawyer has been deployed for a year. I was referred to another lawyer in the firm, but I have to pay the balance that I owe, THEN pay for the consultation which is billed at the normal hourly rate of $225, THEN the lawyer would decide what he wants to collect for a retainer. Yeah, okay. Let me just go get that out of the bank for you. Anyone who knows me KNOWS I don't have that kind of money. Heck, one of Nick's checks wouldn't cover the consultation alone! Yeah, that's how bad things are.

Okay, so here it is...I'm hoping that by journaling/blogging, I can really start getting over this because I have to pay money to see the doctor about meds and the meds won't even work for 4-6 weeks. I can only hope I don't completely lose it before then. lol