Just shoot me and get it over with

This has *not* been a friendly week thus far. Monday wasn't so bad, I was having a great day to myself. All the kids came home and it was pretty uneventful. Tuesday...now Tuesday was the beginning of bad. Tuesdays are like my Mondays, they are normally pretty horrible and I often get a case of the "Tuesdays". Please forgive me for the lack of sleep has made it to where pretty well my memory is shot, so I might not get all of yesterday right. Monday night I'm pretty sure the puppy kept me up off and on. I think I was up around 3, 3:30 and stayed up until 5:30, after Nick left for work, just to have the alarm scream at me at 6:40. I got up and got the kids going. No horrible fights between us, just them being noisy and as we live in a paper house, I try to keep them a little quiet in the morning because Nick's parents are still sleeping, usually, even though it seems we don't get the same respect...anyhow, that's not my point. I got them out of the house and to school. I came home, I really don't remember how it went exactly, but I got frustrated with the dog again. All it seems that I ever hear is my father in law screaming at her because she's trying to be a puppy and play with the other dogs. So, I took her, and the obnoxiously loud 2 year old and went to my bedroom, door closed. We watched cartoons all morning, I was in and out of conciousness from 9 until about 11:30 I woke up to check on the babe and he was passed out next to me. I turned the tv off and fell back asleep only to be awoken by the puppy, again. I took her out about 12:30, let her back in and went back to sleep. I was that tired. She woke me (and the baby) up again at 2:15 or so. Nick came home somewhere around 3. Oh, I called my dad when I got up, right before Nick got home because when we took the puppy from them, he said, "If anything goes wrong, or you can't keep her, bring her back here, we will find her a home." So, I originally called to talk to my mom...she's much easier to talk to. But, I sucked it up because she was at work and talked to him. He started chewing me out at first and when I started crying (because I didn't want to get rid of the dog, not because he was chewing me out), he apologized and said he had been really sick and in bed the last few days, he was just feeling grumpy and he knew I was doing what I had been told to do. That he was sorry I was going through the things I was. He was genuine about it. Or so it seemed.

I did what he told me to and talked to my mom, only she didn't answer her cell, so I just went by her work and told her what happened. She apologized for what we are going through and said she would run another ad for me and find her a home. We picked up the boys (so they could say good bye to the puppy) and called my dad on the way out to his house. The conversation suddenly shifted and he went from, "Sure!! Bring her back cause that's what I told you to do." to, "Well, I want you to try and find her a home as well, but she can stay here while you look, that's fine." Then, 10 minutes later when I got there.... It was a scream fight. Suddenly I was to "face the music and my responsibilities and I was to go stand in front of Wal-Mart this weekend and try to give her away." I walked away with him screaming behind me. Climbed back up in my truck and cried the whole way back to my mom's work. I can't believe the things he does to me. I wanted to apologize to my mother for what she was going to have to hear about when she got off work because of me.

So, that was pretty much the end to my bad night. I woke up with the dog at 2:30 this morning. Despite the fact that I went to bed at 11, I couldn't fall back asleep. I was furious. Around 3, I ended up getting sick to my stomach. Can't seem to sleep on a full stomach and I did eat a lot of dinner last night, so it came back up. 3:30 came and went, as did 4, I got REALLY mad at this point because Nick's alarm goes off at 4:45, and 4:54, and 5:03 before he finally gets up, so I knew it was going to be awhile before I got to fall asleep. I happened to start drifting off right before the alarm went off...then I was up, again. I got up with Nick, saw him off to work and went back to bed. Unsuccessful at sleep once more.

I got up at 6:30 to get kids ready for school. I had the normal issues with the boys; they were loud, uncooperative and unruly. Great start for a sleep deprived day. I dropped them off at school, came home and the baby was being pretty good, so I was just fiddling around on the internet. I placed an ad for the puppy on Craigslist and within 7 minutes, I got a call from people in Eagle Point that wanted her. They would be here at noon. I re-arranged my bedroom and cleaned our livingroom to keep myself awake. They came just after 12. Nice couple. Young, looked like they would have a little love for her. I hope she has a happy life. I didn't cry, suprisingly.

I laid down with the baby at 1. He fought me. Hard. I paddled his butt and he cooperated and fell asleep quickly. I laid there for a little while and apparently passed out shortly after. I slept until 4:10, he woke up about 4:30. Nick and I got into a heated discussion for a few minutes after a miscommunication and a short journey on the "drama llama" that seems to frequent our house. He picked up the kids from the Boys and Girlst Club, came home and they did their homework. I found out for the 2nd day in a row, Brandon was caught in the bathroom soaking paper towels and wadding them up to throw against the wall. Yesterday he was an accomplice, today he went solo. What gets me is he was so upset and so hurt for disappointing me yesterday, that he begged for his forgiveness and promised he would never do it again....just to, do it again. *sigh* I'm at a loss with him right now.

But, it's time for dinner and while I don't want to eat, I need to get the rest of the family fed.

Tata for now.